I Miss You
by Puldoh
Summary: They return to the farm, after a year has past. A anniverery of a death is hard enough but when one blames himself for that death, its hard to let go of the guilt features Song I Miss you, by Hannah Montana Challenge Fic by little cousin.


**Disclaimers: One, I do not own the TMNT even though that would be my dream come true!!**

**Disclaimers: Two, I do not own Hannah Montana, nor any of her songs, particularly the one featured in thsi story called, I Miss you. **

**And FYI, the reason why I chose this song was it seemed perfect for this story. I wrote it in about an hour so I hope you all enjoy it. Please review! I would like to see a review if it was any good. Thanks so much in advance for reviewing. **

**And my younger cousin showed me this and begged me to write a story about TMNT and Hannah Montana Song, I iss You. So please let me know and her, that I did good! She'll give me puppy dog eyes if you don't!! LOL. Enjoy, and another FYI, its a sad story. **

* * *

Mikey sat in a tree, strumming a guitar, thinking about the past. Memories drifted through him, tears ran down his cheeks. His heart hurt from the pain he was feeling inside. He had taken off from his brothers about an hour ago. He ran through the woods, trying hard to get away from the small anniversary trip they were having here.

He didn't want to be here. He hated it here. Well, not really, but being here brought back to much bad memories. He strummed the guitar, soft words were pouring through his mouth.

He sang.

Mikey felt the tears build up. He missed him. So much. He couldn't help but feel guilty. It was his fault. At least he believed it was his fault. He refused to let the tears fall.

"Mikey, Please, come back. I know you miss him, but you need to let him go." a voice below him said.

Mikey shook his head, "No Leo, you don't understand, it was my fault. It was because of me he's gone."

Leo sighed, feeling helpless. His little brother was in a tree.

Raph approached them, looking up in the tree. He shook his head sadly. "I was hoping we could help him Leo, what can we do?"

Leo said, "Just be there for him, remind him it ain't his fault."

Raph nodded and jumped up. Leo saw Don walk with April talking and knew he was asking advice. Leo looked up, seeing Raph holding Mikey as he sat there, watching the sunset.

"His nightmares came back April, that's why we thought he needed to find some closure." Don said approaching the tree.

"Well, just continue what your doing Don. He needs your strength. We'll help him. Me and Casey will be at the house. Try to get him to come in soon, A storm is brewing." April said sadly, looking up at the depressed turtle.

They brought Mikey home that night…..

Mikey gasped, shaking and afraid. Holding his breathe, he checked to make sure he didn't wake up his brothers. No one moved. He was silent. He didn't wake them.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he slowly and silently got out of bed. He walked over to the door, silently opening it, walking down the stairs.

They were at the farmhouse, trying to recover, trying to heal. Mikey couldn't be healed. He didn't talk, he didn't say anything. He was too ashamed. Everything had been his fault.

He walked outside, and went to where they buried Splinter. He sighed, feeling the guilt and hurt build up. He wanted to cry, to get away. But his brothers kept finding him, and it drove him crazy.

He needed to get away, to get away from everyone. It was his fault. Everything was his fault.

"Mikey?" a soft voice called from behind him. Mikey tensed, wary, scared.

"Mikey, Please, come inside. Its not good to be out here when its so cold." the soft women's voice said. Mikey could hear her footsteps coming closer. He tensed up even more.

"Mikey, why won't you cry? You need to cry…" she said softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder. She could feel the tense muscles and his fast breathing and knew that he was panicking. She backed up. She looked at the Headstone, reading a simple;

Splinter Hamato

Wonderful Father,

Respected Master

Wise Teacher

1981-2007

She sighed, "Please come inside Mikey. Its cold, and its raining, and we don't want you to get sick."

Mikey couldn't answer, he was deaf to her pleas. He just stared at Splinter's headstone, feeling even more guilty, wishing for once, he could yell and scream, and let all the pain out. But he couldn't, the pain didn't seem to fade, and its been a year already.

Mikey sat there, a song kept playing in his head. A song he had written a while ago and it helped, humming it. He wished the images would fade. He wished he could get past it. But it was his fault! It was. He shivered in the cold.

He heard April's soft voice, "I tried Casey, he won't move." And he felt guilty for that. For failing his friends.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and a voice behind him, "Michelangelo, come, it is time to come inside. We need to talk."

Mikey slowly let out a breathe and followed Leo inside. He didn't say a word, and felt almost numb, except for the pain inside.

"Michelangelo, Please, you need to let Splinter go. He's gone and its breaking his heart to see you in such pain. It wasn't your fault." Leo said sternly.

Mikey finally whispered, his voice hoarse, caught in a sob, "What if it was Leo? You don't know what happened. I never told you. It is my fault."

Leo was struck silent for a moment, and it seemed like an eternity to Mikey's ears. "I will never believe that Mikey! Splinter would never blame you, and none of us do! Please, just listen to me! Tell us! Tell us what happened, let him go."

Mikey hesitated, looking up, seeing the faces of his brothers, of his friends, and he hesitated. He didn't want to let him go. It was his father.

"Please Mikey, we waited long enough, Please tell us what happened that night." Don said sadly.

Mikey's eyes widened at that, he didn't think his family wanted to hear how their father died so he never spoke it. Never said a word. For the longest time, he didn't speak.

It was 3 months afterwards when April had given him a guitar, and then suddenly Mikey was making songs up. He never sang in front of his family though. Never showed his work, nothing, It was private. He started to speak soon after he learned how to play the guitar.

His voice was whispered, and they could hear him perfectly. The fire crackled as he spoke, "_We went out. He said he wanted me to help check the sewers. I was fooling around. We were attacked. A huge guy and a small little guy. I thought we could take them. But they were really fast. They moved like liquid. They called themselves Mr Touch and Mr. Go. We ran. Splinter leg was hurt. They hit me so hard, I thought my lungs were broken. It hurt. Splinter knocked down a pillar. They were buried." _

Mikey paused, drawing in a shuddering breathe, ignoring the tears falling down his cheeks. He drew himself into a ball. His cheek resting on his knee.

He continued, his voice wavered a little, "_It hurt to breathe. Splinter was limping. He couldn't walk. I had to help him. They were digging out. We found a subway and tried to get away. But they caught up. The big one was kicking my Shell, Splinter intervened. They drove us back, and threw us in front of a moving train. Splinter was clipped by it because he pushed me away. He didn't have time to jump because he pushed me out of the way."_

It was silent. They processed the short story. It explained how bad shape Mikey had been in when they saw him. Mikey had been badly injured. His leg looked broken, he was gasping for breathe, his head bled and his wrist looked awful.

But what horrified them the most was Splinter. Splinter was in Mikey's arms, dead, cold. Mikey was crying, holding him. He refused to give him up when they found him.

They brought Mikey and Splinter home, Mikey had succumbed to the darkness and was unconscious for a few days. When he woke up, he didn't talk, or move. He laid there, in shock, for a week. He snapped out of it when he saw the gravestone. He had limped away, trying to get away from the sight. It was almost 3 and a half months before Mikey spoke again.

But he never spoke about what happened that night.

Raph finally broke the dead silence that was in the room. April was crying in Casey's arms. "Mikey, I don't blame you, none of us do! You didn't kill Splinter. Those creepzoids that came afta' you, they the ones who killed him."

Mikey shook his head, "No, it was me. IF I had moved, Splinter would have jumped clear."

"NO! No he wouldn't have. Mikey, Splinter's leg was broken. Badly. He shouldn't have been able to stand at all." Don said, trying to break through that dead look in Mikey's eyes. "He couldn't stand up. When he did, he chose to save you. You were his child, he saved you. That was his choice!"

Mikey started to shake his head no, but Leo said emotionally, "Mikey, Please, believe us. Don knew Splinter was injured badly. Yes, he died when he was with you, but there was nothing you could have done to prevent his death. It happened, but we need to learn to deal with it."

April and Casey nodded. Casey spoke, "Look, losing your dad, it hurts, like crazy. That pain feels like its gonna tear your heart apart," he said, his voice cracking a bit. He was thinking of his own father he lost as a child. "But that pain, it fades, but it will hurt. Mikey, it ain't your fault! I coulda ran up and saved my dad, but I didn't. Was it my fault?"

Mikey shook his head angrily, "No, it wasn't! It was Hun! It was his fault!" knowing the story about Casey's dad who died in a fire when Casey was a kid.

April spoke, "I didn't know my dad Mikey, nor my mom. I was adopted. Like you were. My adopted mother loved me. She said her one vow was she would sacrifice her life to save mine, no matter what. All parents want that for their children, to be able to save them."

"But if I moved, If I defeated those guys, If I got Splinter out of there, he….he would be alive now!" Mikey said, protesting the pain inside seem to be breaking apart.

"No Mike, what if they had a gun and shot him? They would have killed him, not you! What if he went out alone? They would have captured him! Mikey, he died saving you, don't let his sacrifice destroy you. It hurts, I know, but cry, Please, just cry, accept that he's gone!" Leo said quietly, a hand on Mikey's shoulder.

Mikey's shoulder tensed up, and he felt a warmth replace the broken feel in his heart. "It wasn't my fault?"

"Never!" they said, their voices all together, as one, convincing the hurting turtle.

A tear rolled down his cheek, followed by some more, and he finally let out all the pain, all the hurt, all the sadness and he wept.

They didn't know how long the young turtle cried for, they didn't care. He was finally healing and that was all they cared about.

Over the next few days, Mikey continued to talk and make small improvements as time passed by. And he visited Splinter's grave.

One night about a week later, Leo asked Mikey if he would like to join their morning and afternoon sparring and practice.

"You guys are doing that still? That was Splinter's job!" Mikey said hurt, feeling panicked a bit, scared.

Leo frowned, "Yes, we are still practicing Ninjutsu. We need to make sure are able to defend ourselves. Splinter taught us-"

Mikey's eyes widened, "Your leading it?" he said, feeling like Splinter's memory was being betrayed.

Don shook his head, "No Mikey, we take turns. So we can honour Splinet's teachings, even his individual styles he taught us."

Mikey sighed, feeling confused and shaky. "No, I'm not ready. Okay? Is that okay? I…I dont' think I can handle the dojo yet…" he said backing away.

Leo nodded sadly. He knew Mikey hadn't stepped a foot in the dojo since it happened, nor had he gone into Splinter's room. He sighed.

Mikey grabbed his guitar, walking away. He walked up to the lake and sat there on a rock, and started playing a little tune. He soon was working on a song of his, making the music. It was ready.

He didn't hear them follow him. He ignored his surroundings. He felt mixed up. But he accepted that Splinter was gone. But he Missed him.

He missed his father, his mentor, his teacher. He missed his dad.

Strumming the guitar and his voice was strong, but soft as he sang:

You used to call me your angel  
Said I was sent straight down from heaven  
You'd hold me close in your arms

I loved the way you felt so strong  
I never wanted you to leave  
I wanted you to stay here holding me

CHORUS  
I miss you  
I miss your smile  
And I still shed a tear  
Every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow  
My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you,

I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer  
And now I'm living out my dream  
Oh how I wish you could see  
Everything that's happening for me  
I'm thinking back on the past  
It's true that time is flying but too fast

CHORUS

I know you're in a better place, yeah  
But I wish that I could see your face, oh  
I know you're where you need to be  
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you  
I miss your smile  
And I still shed a tear  
Every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow  
My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you,

I miss you  
I miss your smile  
And I still shed a tear  
Every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow  
My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you,

Raph's voice spoke softly behind him, "That was a great song Mike. You wrote it?"

Mikey didn't say nothing, and saw his family around him, April and Casey standing behind them.

"I miss him," he said softly.

His family engulfed him a a large hug, letting him feel loved. Don smiled, "We miss him too Mike!"

Mikey nodded, and looked back over the lake. The sun was setting once more, making the sky turn a beautiful range of colours mixing blue, purple and red.

They sat there, watching the sun set, watching as the stars came out and they built a fire. They sat and talked about Splinter, making memories, healing, and finally, letting the pain fade a bit. Healing Mikey's guilt.

This was needed.

They got Mikey to sing the song a few times throughout the night, and several other songs he made up as well.

They laughed about incidents in the Turtles childhood where Splinter was the unfortunate victim in a prank gone wrong, or in Don's case, an experiment gone wrong.

They were one again, a family. They lost someone close to them. They lost a father.

Mikey looked up at the stars sparkling above him, he smiled slightly, feeling better than he ever had. He was soon learning it wasn't his fault and was putting the guilt aside. Watching the stars sparkle he sang, his voice seemingly loud but a beautiful baritone,

"I know you're in a better place, yeah  
But I wish that I could see your face, oh  
I know you're where you need to be  
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you  
I miss your smile  
And I still shed a tear  
Every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow  
My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you"

Mikey could have sworn the stars shone brighter for a moment and saw a star suddenly fly across the dark purple-black sky, and knew it was Splinter sending a message.

He missed them too.

He smiled when April cried out excited, "Oh look, a shooting star!"

Yes, Splinter missed them, and they missed him.

Mikey looked around the campfire, his brothers were there, his friends, his family. One was gone, but not really. As long as they remembered, he would be there.


End file.
